It was the moment we had been thinking about all week. We were lined up in ranks, wearing the driest clothes we had and armor on top of them. The steel wasn’t that heavy, but it took its toll on your knees after an hour. I was tired before we had even reached the battlefield. The imperials were lined on the other side of the meadow. A long green field that would turn bloody in less than an hour from now. The grass trampled and turned into mud, which would be the last home for some of us.
Hopefully not mine.
The thrill numbed the pain and fatigue but didn’t soothe my nerves. My breathing was short and cut. I was already winded, and my heart was beating like a drum. I suppose the others felt the same way. I could hear their armor clanging as the air left their chests.
Some of the other soldiers were calm, staring ahead with no fear or doubt in their eyes. They hadn’t seen enough violence in their lives to know what awaited them in a few minutes. And they would die first.
I was so scared that I thought about dropping my weapon and running. I knew the pain of getting hit. I knew it all too well. The child in me screamed and wanted to be nowhere near a fight. I couldn’t eat that day. I couldn’t sleep the night before. I emptied my bowels in the morning and donned the armor, but my stomach was hurting all morning. Not shameful to shit your pants at a battle.
The people on the other side we called the enemy. Those we came to kill today so they can’t do the same to our families and loved ones. We had deprived them of any personality and compassion. They were soulless, faceless, and mindless. A set of armor with no name. I wondered how many of them had cramps in their stomachs too. How many of them had wives they thought about?
No. This wouldn’t help me when we cross swords in a few moments. Did it matter who they were? They were the ones who took me away from my family. They will bury me in this god-forsaken patch of earth and take my sword and shoes before that. That was better. I had to hate them, it made the fighting easier. Oh, and I could hate them.
My heart ran faster, sending blood to my fists and feet. Just the thought of them made me furious. They had the arrogance to hurt my people. To slaughter, burn, and rape. They wanted to hurt the woman I love. If the dead god loved them he wouldn’t have sent them to me.
The commander shouted. He was giving us the speech. The last thunderous words we’d hear before the fighting started. I never heard him, I was too far back, and it was too loud. The drawing of weapons, the shouting, the vibrating ground. The air around me was thick and the rage was spreading like wildfire. I fed off the fire of the person before me. I heard his shouts and yells, and I started shouting myself, the people around me following.
Suddenly, the fear in me disappeared, and anger set it aflame. I was ready. When the horn sounded, we marched.